Tips for Making a Change for the Better!

If you are contemplating making a change for the better, perhaps losing weight, improving your eating habits, getting help for anxiety or depression, or resolving issues in a relationship, you are at a stage of awareness.   But what you need to really move forward and begin doing rather than thinking about change is a level of emotional arousal and emotional energy. Use emotional energy to garner the momentum you need to make the change.  We know from research that knowing facts about a problem or dilemma is not enough to create behavior change. So stir things up a bit.  Here are some suggestions:

Create your own promotional materials.  Film yourself YouTube style and monitor your progress with a succession of videos.  Or paint or draw or create posters that are unique to your goals, post them at home and work and ramp up your emotional energy.

Start a group or join a group. There is a reason why joining and participating with a group of people with similar goals is a successful endeavor for many.  Participation can be emotionally energizing via the support you get from others in the group.

Use meditation, visualization and imagination. Take time out each day be in the moment, to reflect, visualize your goal and imagine how you will feel.   The emotional release you may experience may help you to move forward with the needed momentum so that you will be successful in reaching your goal.

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Exercise Like a Kid and Feel Better!

Have you thought about what some of the psychological and emotional  benefits of regular exercise might be?  Research has shown that for men, women, children, youth, mid-life and the elderly, one of the greatest benefits is an overall improved sense of well-being.  Specific studies on the effects of exercise on clinical depression have shown that for some, exercise can alleviate symptoms of mild to moderate depression.  A sense of self-efficacy and confidence is another benefit for the far majority of people who keep up an exercise regimen.

What is it then, that keeps people from making the time to get regular exercise? 

If you ask most sedentary people why they don't exercise, one of the things they may tell you is that regular exercise is too hard and they really don't like it!   If you fit in this category, consider re-thinking your attitude.  First of all, replace your idea of exercise with activity and play!

Do you remember what it was like to play when you were a kid?  Be a kid again!  Learn to play! What activities did you do before you became more sedentary?  Dancing, playing on a sports team, biking, walking, hiking, swimming and gardening - to name just a few - are all healthy activities and when integrated into your lifestyle, are a significant improvement over being sedentary.  Remember that as few as 30 minutes a day of moderate activity can not only help you become physically healthier but also  psychologically healthier, too.

Keeping FIT is NOT always EASY: Part 3 Are YOU a Social Eater?

Keeping fit is not always EASY!  Do you think you may be a "social eater?"  Why do you eat what you eat and when you eat it? Is eating a social experience for you? Do you find that when you are with a group of your friends, you lose track of what you have eaten and continue to fill up your plate although you are already satiated? That’s a very common experience for some.  In fact, researchers (Nicholas A. Christakis, M.D., Ph.D., M.P.H., and James H. Fowler, Ph.D) have found that overweight and obese people were more likely to have a circle of friends who were also overweight and obese (and therefore probably social eaters also). And we also know that many people are more likely to be successful in reaching weight loss goals if they participate in a group with shared weight loss goals (for example, “the Biggest Loser” on television, Weight Watchers Program, etc.).  So if social eating is your downfall, don’t despair.  Instead, find a group who share similar weight loss goals and you  will more likely be successful in losing the desired weight.

Taking the Heat!

Survival in the desert is a constant challenge for the variety of animals and plants that live there; to flourish in the desert requires the organism to withstand drought, extreme heat, and seasonal floods.  In the desert, for several months of the year, the temperatures may be exceedingly hot, exceeding what is called the range of thermoneutrality in which the animal can survive.   This heat, combined with the scarcity of life-sustaining water, makes for an extremely tenuous survival.  And yet, through adaptation to their environment, and the ability to avoid excess heat, flora and fauna are able to survive – and even flourish in this harsh environment.

What is your range of psychological thermoneutrality?  What are some of the environmental conditions (i.e., relationships, community, school, finances, commute) in your life and experience that have been the most difficult to overcome? When things heat up, do you struggle and fail - or adapt, cope and flourish? What adaptations have you made in the past to your circumstances that have helped you to not only survive but to flourish? Take some time and consider a stressful time, event or circumstance you have experienced that has challenged you.  What did you do to cope?  What did you learn? Would you do things differently now?  Contemplate your successful “adaptations” and remember them when your environment heats up.

Keeping FIT is NOT always EASY!

Who are the people who are most effective at getting fit and healthy, and staying that way over time?   And who are the ones who no matter how hard they seem to try, continue to struggle with getting or keeping healthy?  Researchers continue to investigate these very questions and have come up with some key points about achieving and maintaining health and well-being.  Here are some pointers on getting and keeping fit and healthy.

Keeping fit and healthy– including daily and weekly exercise and eating a nutritious diet is NOT always EASY!  We know that in our busy world of work, commuting, family responsibilities, social events and the stress that accompanies all of this, maintaining a healthy lifestyle can be a huge challenge.  Have you ever commented on an acquaintance that seems to always manage to keep fit, look great and maintain a positive attitude - that he or she “doesn’t have to work very hard" at looking and feeling great?  Think again!  Chances are, if you interviewed that person, you would find out that a considerable commitment has been made to keeping healthy.  You would also find out that such a commitment comes with a price – be it time away from social events to work out or refusing delicious but incredibly unhealthy restaurant meals when out with friends or colleagues.

Keep a diary. Include what, when and where you eat and what, when and how you exercise.  Keep track of your stress levels and stressors during those times. Researchers know that when you keep track, you become more aware of your stress points, your habits, your emotionally vulnerable times as well as your caloric intake and time in exercise.  How does this help? Once you know your stress patterns, eating patterns and exercise patterns, you can establish a BASELINE and then develop your short and long term goals, based on your history and stress patterns.

Keep it fun.  We also know that if you do not ENJOY your workout, or consider at least a portion of your exercise regimen to be FUN, you won’t maintain your routine.  If you have friends who are runners and they love running, they will tell you that running is a rewarding and fun experience. In turn, if you run and positively hate it, the thought of it,  and dread going on a run, you are not likely to maintain your exercise regimen. In fact, you are probably adding more stress to your life by doing something you don’t like!  If you’re not sure what might work for you, try out different activities and give yourself a few weeks to decide.  Join yoga or Pilate’s group. You may enjoy dancing, hiking, playing tennis, taking long walks, or swimming.  Whatever  it is that brings enjoyment, do it and forget about routines or activities that cause you stress. Don’t forget variety in your workouts – include two or more activities into your routine - such as weight lifting and swimming to optimize your health.

Keep it a priority.  Whatever it takes to keep your health regimen a priority, do it! Schedule workout times into your Outlook calendar.  Make your food diary easily accessible; download an App if that makes it more do-able. Find ways to stay consistent and realize that you will have to sacrifice at times in order to maintain.  Soon you will realize what researchers know - keeping fit to counter stress – both psychologically and physiologically will help you to cope and feel good more often. Keeping fit to maintain your health, your sense of well being and your physical appearance will be the best reward of all.

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The Mind-Body Connection and You

There is now both reliable and valid scientific evidence from the fields of behavioral medicine, neuroendocrinology, neuroimmunology, neurobiology, and nutrition science to support the conclusions that our autonomic, endocrine and immune systems are not autonomous, but instead work in concert with each other.  These systems engage in interactive dialog with each other, and communicate with our limbic emotional system and perception/sensation systems to maintain health and also fight disease.

Research over the past 30 years has seen considerable advances into the scientific understanding of the immune system.  Science has now established the knowledge that the mind (psychology), the brain (neurology) and the body’s natural defenses (immunology) communicate with each other in a bidirectional flow of hormones, neuropeptides and cytokines.  This growing field of research is called psychoneuroimmunology (PNI).     Consider this: there is now irrefutable evidence that all of the body’s defense systems are under the control of the central nervous system (CNS).   In other words, every idea, thought and belief has a neurochemical consequence.  Neuropeptides flow from the CNS, impinging on specific receptions on the leukocytes, thus regulating their function.  What researchers know then, is that the CNS has the potential to critically inhibit or enhance immunity through two major neuroimmunomodulatory pathways:  the neuroendocrine and the autonomic nervous systems.

What can you do as a patient, whether you are struggling with a chronic illness, newly diagnosed with a threatening disease or health and working toward goals to improve your overall health and well-being?

Begin by examining your stress levels. How do you manage?  Do you feel good about how you cope or do you know that you are frequently stressed beyond your ability to cope? Ask for help.   Examine your health beliefs and ask questions of your health care providers.  Ask for psychological support for stress management, or help with depression, anxiety or other diagnosis.  Read and learn all you can about the biopsychosocial aspects of your condition.  Rely on scientific evidence, scientific based websites and reputable publications.  Question and learn about complimentary and adjunct support and discuss with your health care providers, including your medical doctor and your psychologist.
For an excellent academic overview on this topic:  Mind-Body Medicine: A Clinician's Guide to Psychoneuroimmunology; edited by Dr. Alan Watkins ISBN:  0 443 05526 2

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How to BEGIN to Think SMART and Feel BETTER

Many people think that when we feel bad and experience symptoms of depression or anxiety, then our feelings “make” us think negative and sad or angry thoughts. Actually, what we now know is that often, people who are experiencing depression or anxiety have the negative thoughts FIRST. These distorted, negative, pessimistic thoughts then begin to produce the ‘bad’ feelings; the feelings in turn produce more distorted thinking, making the symptoms even more difficult to overcome. The important thing to note here is that the distorted thoughts are usually ‘automatic’ in nature. This means that the person is probably not even aware of his or her automatic, distorted thoughts, but that these thoughts automatically enter the thinking patterns in a continual manner and across different situations in life.

Put more simply, your automatic thoughts and interpretations of a situation or circumstance can have a very big impact on how you feel. Psychologists have identified several negative thinking patterns that are common to people who struggle with feelings of anxiety and depression.

Three common types of negative thinking patterns are identified and described below. Review these and begin to identify which ones may be impacting how you feel.

1. Catastrophizing: When something happens, you blow it completely out of proportion and think of the worst possible outcome.

The boss told Jenny that the budget is tight and there would no longer be funds for hiring an intern. Mary thought, “This is awful. She probably wants to fire me and this is her way of prepping me for the bad news.”

2. Black or White Thinking: You view people or situations, or even yourself as entirely bad or entirely good—nothing in -between.

When Mark presented his proposal to his dissertation committee, they interrupted so many times with questions, he went over his allotted hour for the presentation. Mark immediately thought, “They didn’t like my ideas; I barely got to finish the presentation.”

3. Judging:  You are overly critical of your self or others; your use of should have, ought to, must, have to, and should not have is very frequent.

Jan made a sales presentation to a client. The client was very attentive and made comments about being impressed with the product. Jan thought, “I spent too much time trying to explain myself. I should have been more prepared.”

Remember to review these and begin to identify which ones may be impacting how you feel. Knowing how and why you feel bad is a first step to feeling better!

Top Ten Better Ways to Communicate

Here are ten ways for you to develop healthier communication patterns with your friends and family. Try them out!

1. You state how you feel without BLAMING others.

2. You can disagree without turning it into an ARGUMENT.

3. You handle your anger without getting aggressive.

4. You handle OTHERS getting angry without your getting aggressive.

5. You act respectful at all times.

6. You expect others to be respectful of YOU at all times.

7. You can say you dislike someone's behavior WITHOUT saying you
dislike the PERSON.

8. Mistakes are viewed as OPPORTUNITIES to LEARN.

9. When there are disagreements, the atmosphere focuses on remaining RELAXED.

10.You take RESPONSIBILITY for your OWN behavior (no blame).

Ten Things You Can Do to Feel Better. Start Today!

Practice Positive Thinking. Work at changing your negative thoughts into more positive thoughts—about yourself, others and the future.
Be True to Yourself and True to Others. Be more authentic – express your feelings, beliefs and values in your life and your relationships.
Take time out for Rest and Relaxation. Take a break for even a few minutes during your busy day.
Find Creative Ways to Laugh and Have Fun. Find time to have fun and enjoy yourself. Exercise, play and laugh!
Develop your Dreams, Hopes, and Goals. Reflect on your aspirations. Work each day toward even one small part of a larger goal.
Find Courage. When faced with a difficulty or challenge, confront your fears and overcome your resistance to change. Get help if you need support.
Take Risks. Even small risks such as speaking up in class or volunteering in an organization can energize you.
Reach Out to Others. Give of your time to others and to the greater world without expecting a reward.
Work each day on Mindfulness. Practice staying in the moment, in the ‘here and now.’
Practice Gratitude. Find time to reflect with appreciation on what makes your life meaningful.

Finding Happiness

For many of you who have lost jobs or are struggling with the downturn in the economy, this has been an especially difficult year. The distress you experience can have an undermining and negative effect on your sense of well-being, health and happiness. Even smaller stressors - small daily hassles, if they are frequent and we don’t feel in control of them, may contribute to poorer health and a diminished sense of well-being. Consider beginning right now to counter the stress in your life by making some positive changes.

How to start? Begin by taking some time out to contemplate and reflect on who you are and what really matters to you. Reflect on the positive people, relationships and experiences that have been most memorable and meaningful to you. Research supports the notion that for most people, having meaningful relationships and experiences with family, friends, loved ones and significant others are key to experiencing a sense of well being. Work on becoming mindful of your distress and when you experience it, stop and take time out to reflect on your positive relationships and experiences. Practice switching to this positive frame of reference several times each day.

And then consider this. Did you know that happiness may be contagious? In the published article in Behavioral Medicine Journal (Dec. 2008), entitled Dynamic spread of happiness in a large social network: Longitudinal analysis over 20 years in the Framingham Heart Study, Fowler and Christakis’ findings suggest that the relationship between people’s happiness extends up to three degrees of separation (for example, to the friends of one’s friends’ friends), and that if you are surrounded by many others who are happy and these people are central to your circle of friends, you may be more likely to become happy in the future.

Is there anything valuable you can take from this research? Yes! Begin with working on your own positive attitude. Remember to take time out for meaningful relationships and events. And surround yourself with those who have a more positive approach to life and you may find that you too have an improved sense of well being and happiness.