Tips for Making a Change for the Better!

If you are contemplating making a change for the better, perhaps losing weight, improving your eating habits, getting help for anxiety or depression, or resolving issues in a relationship, you are at a stage of awareness.   But what you need to really move forward and begin doing rather than thinking about change is a level of emotional arousal and emotional energy. Use emotional energy to garner the momentum you need to make the change.  We know from research that knowing facts about a problem or dilemma is not enough to create behavior change. So stir things up a bit.  Here are some suggestions:

Create your own promotional materials.  Film yourself YouTube style and monitor your progress with a succession of videos.  Or paint or draw or create posters that are unique to your goals, post them at home and work and ramp up your emotional energy.

Start a group or join a group. There is a reason why joining and participating with a group of people with similar goals is a successful endeavor for many.  Participation can be emotionally energizing via the support you get from others in the group.

Use meditation, visualization and imagination. Take time out each day be in the moment, to reflect, visualize your goal and imagine how you will feel.   The emotional release you may experience may help you to move forward with the needed momentum so that you will be successful in reaching your goal.

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• Mindfulness-based Anger Management Online via Skype (psychologytoday.com)

Taking the Heat!

Survival in the desert is a constant challenge for the variety of animals and plants that live there; to flourish in the desert requires the organism to withstand drought, extreme heat, and seasonal floods.  In the desert, for several months of the year, the temperatures may be exceedingly hot, exceeding what is called the range of thermoneutrality in which the animal can survive.   This heat, combined with the scarcity of life-sustaining water, makes for an extremely tenuous survival.  And yet, through adaptation to their environment, and the ability to avoid excess heat, flora and fauna are able to survive – and even flourish in this harsh environment.

What is your range of psychological thermoneutrality?  What are some of the environmental conditions (i.e., relationships, community, school, finances, commute) in your life and experience that have been the most difficult to overcome? When things heat up, do you struggle and fail - or adapt, cope and flourish? What adaptations have you made in the past to your circumstances that have helped you to not only survive but to flourish? Take some time and consider a stressful time, event or circumstance you have experienced that has challenged you.  What did you do to cope?  What did you learn? Would you do things differently now?  Contemplate your successful “adaptations” and remember them when your environment heats up.

Where do you want to go?

Have you ever taken time out to really consider why you want to lose weight or get healthier overall, or let go of a substance abuse problem or even change your attitude?   You may experience ongoing demands and stress at work, stress at home, relationship struggles, illness, or financial crisis and rarely or never take time out to contemplate and really pay attention to who you are,what you are experiencing and why you have certain goals, hopes and dreams.  Practicing mindfulness is one way to accomplish a greater sense of self and others and gain a deeper understanding of what really matters to you.  What is mindfulness?  It is an awareness of the here and now, the real-time experiences in your day to day life. It is acceptance and fully attending to whatever happens in your daily life.  It is living each moment and each event as fully as possible, embracing the hope and the despair, the joy and the discouragement, the risks and the fear and as fully as possible.  This is counter to the manner is which most of us have learned to experience our lives.  We live in a society where almost everywhere we look,  the focus is on how to be more, accomplish more, be more successful, be more beautiful, and then be viewed by more as worthy. We cannot easily escape media's over-emphasis of the perceived and highly regarded rewards that accompany looking your best, losing weight, having cosmetic surgery, or undergoing that much "needed" makeover.  Consider this though. The real makeover needs to start from the inside.  Jon Kabat-Zinn, author of the book entitled “Coming to our Senses” reminds us of this: “There is no time other than now.  We are not, contrary to what we may think, “going” anywhere. Even though we may imagine some other future moment as more fulfilling, more pleasant, more rewarding, we can’t really know this."  Instead of living in a dream reality, wake up! Today is your reality.  Embrace who and what you are.  Does this mean you can't hope, dream, want, wish, work toward, strive, commit? Of course not.  You can do all of these things but remain mindful of the fullness and beauty and richness of your current experience.  How to accomplish this?  Practice mindfulness. Practice being in the moment. Practice letting go and accepting and moving on and letting go again and moving on again. Practice mindfulness and remaining in the here and now and experience a more peaceful and less turbulent journey as you pursue your dreams and goals.