Your Guide to finding Happiness during the Holidays and Beyond

Are you hoping to experience and feel at least some level of happiness during the holidays?   You are certainly not alone in this pursuit! Many people look to the holidays to help them to feel better, more hopeful and happy.  And one of the reasons the post holiday blues take hold for some, is that the happiness is fleeting.  The word happiness in actually an abstract concept. If you asked three different people to define happiness, you would no doubt end up with three different definitions.  Seligman and colleagues have invested years of research on the concept of happiness.  They suggest  that a better way to view ‘happiness’ is to examine three distinct routes to happiness:  1) positive emotion and pleasure, 2) engagement and 3) meaning.  Their research suggests that people differ in how and what they pursue in life and that satisfied and happier people are those who orient their life pursuits based on all three of these routes, but hold engagement and meaning as more important that positive emotion/pleasure.

It is important to also know that studies on happiness show that people pursuing happiness benefit more than from just feeling good.  Research shows that happy people are healthier, more successful, and more socially engaged, and the cause and effect of happiness actually runs both ways! For example, if you are happy, this will have a positive effect on your social relationships; those relationships in turn give you more happiness.

How can this help you then, as you consider ways to find your own (not so fleeting)  happiness?
Review the list below and try out the exercises.  Be sure to commit to doing at least one of the exercises for at least one week. Commit to trying them all out over the next few weeks. Continue with the ones that resonate most.


Gratitude Visit: Take one week to write and then deliver a letter of gratitude in person to someone who has been especially kind to you and whom you have never properly thanked.

Three good things in life: For one week - write down three things that go well each day; describe a causal explanation for each thing every night for one week.


You at your best:  Write about a time when you were at your best and then
reflect on your personal strengths displayed in the story. Review the story once every day for a
week to reflect on the strengths you have identified.


Identify and Use your signature strengths in a new way:
Take the inventory of character strengths (Brief strengths) online at www.authentichappiness.org and receive individualized feedback about your top five (“signature”)
strengths (Peterson et al., 2005a). Use one of these top strengths in a new and
different way every day for at least one week.

Finally – remember this. For most people, happiness does not just happen! It is a purposeful way of reflecting and doing your life, finding ways to create your own world of meaningfulness, gratitude and positive emotion.
To learn more, visit the website:
http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu

Ten Things You Can Do to Feel Better. Start Today!

Practice Positive Thinking. Work at changing your negative thoughts into more positive thoughts—about yourself, others and the future.
Be True to Yourself and True to Others. Be more authentic – express your feelings, beliefs and values in your life and your relationships.
Take time out for Rest and Relaxation. Take a break for even a few minutes during your busy day.
Find Creative Ways to Laugh and Have Fun. Find time to have fun and enjoy yourself. Exercise, play and laugh!
Develop your Dreams, Hopes, and Goals. Reflect on your aspirations. Work each day toward even one small part of a larger goal.
Find Courage. When faced with a difficulty or challenge, confront your fears and overcome your resistance to change. Get help if you need support.
Take Risks. Even small risks such as speaking up in class or volunteering in an organization can energize you.
Reach Out to Others. Give of your time to others and to the greater world without expecting a reward.
Work each day on Mindfulness. Practice staying in the moment, in the ‘here and now.’
Practice Gratitude. Find time to reflect with appreciation on what makes your life meaningful.

Finding Happiness

For many of you who have lost jobs or are struggling with the downturn in the economy, this has been an especially difficult year. The distress you experience can have an undermining and negative effect on your sense of well-being, health and happiness. Even smaller stressors - small daily hassles, if they are frequent and we don’t feel in control of them, may contribute to poorer health and a diminished sense of well-being. Consider beginning right now to counter the stress in your life by making some positive changes.

How to start? Begin by taking some time out to contemplate and reflect on who you are and what really matters to you. Reflect on the positive people, relationships and experiences that have been most memorable and meaningful to you. Research supports the notion that for most people, having meaningful relationships and experiences with family, friends, loved ones and significant others are key to experiencing a sense of well being. Work on becoming mindful of your distress and when you experience it, stop and take time out to reflect on your positive relationships and experiences. Practice switching to this positive frame of reference several times each day.

And then consider this. Did you know that happiness may be contagious? In the published article in Behavioral Medicine Journal (Dec. 2008), entitled Dynamic spread of happiness in a large social network: Longitudinal analysis over 20 years in the Framingham Heart Study, Fowler and Christakis’ findings suggest that the relationship between people’s happiness extends up to three degrees of separation (for example, to the friends of one’s friends’ friends), and that if you are surrounded by many others who are happy and these people are central to your circle of friends, you may be more likely to become happy in the future.

Is there anything valuable you can take from this research? Yes! Begin with working on your own positive attitude. Remember to take time out for meaningful relationships and events. And surround yourself with those who have a more positive approach to life and you may find that you too have an improved sense of well being and happiness.