Short Memory, Long Memory

Do you find sometimes that you have a ‘short memory’ for the really good things that have happened in your life – and a longer memory for the not so happy times? 

There have actually been scientific studies that help explain this  - that much or our memory for the ‘bad times’ is neurologically based. Boston College psychologist Elizabeth Kensinger and her colleagues published a study in 2007 that showed how this phenomenon occurs.  The outcomes of her research showed that when the remembered event was aversive, the negative events were remembered in much greater detail and with more accuracy than for positive, pleasurable events (for example, September 11 terrorists attacks).

In the study, the use of  Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI), studies  demonstrated increased cellular activity in emotion-processing regions of the brain at the time that a negative event was experienced.

Kensinger  suggests that recognizing the effects of remembering a negative event at much greater detail and accuracy may at some point protect us from harm - by guiding our choices and allowing us to plan for similar future (negative) events.  This is especially true if we consider an evolutionary framework, where attention to potentially threatening information was key to survival.

What negative, frightening or threatening memories do you have?   And to counter those memories, what positive, supportive and good memories do you keep?  If you are struggling with the negative, use these scientific findings to give yourself a break! Acknowledge the negative, the details, the specifics and realize that they present themselves to you with more clarity because your brain is doing what it knows to do!  And ask for help –  seek out therapy -  if your memories are keeping your from experiencing joy in your life and your relationships.  

Tips for Making a Change for the Better!

If you are contemplating making a change for the better, perhaps losing weight, improving your eating habits, getting help for anxiety or depression, or resolving issues in a relationship, you are at a stage of awareness.   But what you need to really move forward and begin doing rather than thinking about change is a level of emotional arousal and emotional energy. Use emotional energy to garner the momentum you need to make the change.  We know from research that knowing facts about a problem or dilemma is not enough to create behavior change. So stir things up a bit.  Here are some suggestions:

Create your own promotional materials.  Film yourself YouTube style and monitor your progress with a succession of videos.  Or paint or draw or create posters that are unique to your goals, post them at home and work and ramp up your emotional energy.

Start a group or join a group. There is a reason why joining and participating with a group of people with similar goals is a successful endeavor for many.  Participation can be emotionally energizing via the support you get from others in the group.

Use meditation, visualization and imagination. Take time out each day be in the moment, to reflect, visualize your goal and imagine how you will feel.   The emotional release you may experience may help you to move forward with the needed momentum so that you will be successful in reaching your goal.

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• Mindfulness-based Anger Management Online via Skype (psychologytoday.com)

Control your Anger - Control your Stress!

There are actually healthy and unhealthy ways to control anger in your everyday dealings, whether with coworkers, family, friends or the grocery store clerk! Chronic, poorly managed anger may add to your stress levels by increasing the cortisol in your system, which in turn contributes to more inflammation and poorer health.

What are some unhealthy and healthy responses when you get angry? 
Check out these lists and tips.

Unhealthy Anger Responses

• You deny your feelings.  Instead, you lash out and blame others.
• You are defensive and argue with those who try to help.
• You are disrespectful of the other person (name calling, insulting the person instead of the situation).
• You have physiological sensations – increased heart rate, pounding heart, your face heats up, etc.
• You  act aggressive, hit or strike or throw things.
• You give up and see yourself as a helpless victim.
• Your anger becomes addictive – you easily anger at many different situations and circumstances.

Healthier Responses to Anger

• You admit your denial - You work at expressing your thoughts and feelings (using “I” not “You”) without denial and blame.
• You try to understand the other person’s viewpoint
• You have an attitude of respect even when you feel angry
• You do something constructive and find ways to keep your anger under control
• You are open to learning new things
• You examine your own behavior.
• Your commitment to others grows stronger
• You eventually let go of the anger and feel fine

Sometimes controlling your anger takes real effort and practice

Here are 5 tips for controlling your anger:

• Talk slowly
• Wait - “Take 10” - count to 10, 20 or 30, take deep breaths and think before your react.
• Take a walk; go for a run; workout, instead of reacting poorly to a situation.
• Find humor in the situation.
• Respond with assertiveness; respond don’t reac.

Work on your Assertiveness

When you communicate in an assertive manner, your assertiveness is actually incompatible with unhealthy anger (and the accompanying anxiety).

           

Tips on Assertiveness; use when communicating your anger!

• Use steady eye-to-eye contact but not staring or glaring.
• Stand or sit tall with good postur.
• Maintain a firm steady tone without yelling or drop in tone.
• Use “I” statements – I feel, I need, I would appreciate.
• Use short sentences.
• Use pauses for feedback.

Related articles

• Study Highlights How Moms' Depression, Anger Stresses Kids (nlm.nih.gov)

The Mind-Body Connection and You

There is now both reliable and valid scientific evidence from the fields of behavioral medicine, neuroendocrinology, neuroimmunology, neurobiology, and nutrition science to support the conclusions that our autonomic, endocrine and immune systems are not autonomous, but instead work in concert with each other.  These systems engage in interactive dialog with each other, and communicate with our limbic emotional system and perception/sensation systems to maintain health and also fight disease.

Research over the past 30 years has seen considerable advances into the scientific understanding of the immune system.  Science has now established the knowledge that the mind (psychology), the brain (neurology) and the body’s natural defenses (immunology) communicate with each other in a bidirectional flow of hormones, neuropeptides and cytokines.  This growing field of research is called psychoneuroimmunology (PNI).     Consider this: there is now irrefutable evidence that all of the body’s defense systems are under the control of the central nervous system (CNS).   In other words, every idea, thought and belief has a neurochemical consequence.  Neuropeptides flow from the CNS, impinging on specific receptions on the leukocytes, thus regulating their function.  What researchers know then, is that the CNS has the potential to critically inhibit or enhance immunity through two major neuroimmunomodulatory pathways:  the neuroendocrine and the autonomic nervous systems.

What can you do as a patient, whether you are struggling with a chronic illness, newly diagnosed with a threatening disease or health and working toward goals to improve your overall health and well-being?

Begin by examining your stress levels. How do you manage?  Do you feel good about how you cope or do you know that you are frequently stressed beyond your ability to cope? Ask for help.   Examine your health beliefs and ask questions of your health care providers.  Ask for psychological support for stress management, or help with depression, anxiety or other diagnosis.  Read and learn all you can about the biopsychosocial aspects of your condition.  Rely on scientific evidence, scientific based websites and reputable publications.  Question and learn about complimentary and adjunct support and discuss with your health care providers, including your medical doctor and your psychologist.
For an excellent academic overview on this topic:  Mind-Body Medicine: A Clinician's Guide to Psychoneuroimmunology; edited by Dr. Alan Watkins ISBN:  0 443 05526 2

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