Three Things You Can Do Today to Feel Better

1. Think Positive:  Make an effort to change your negative self talk into positive self talk.  For many people, this takes practice, especially if your thinking ‘style’ tends toward the negative.

2. Rest and relax:  Take a break—make a point to relax for 30 minutes each day.  If you’re not sure how to relax, try different things.  Listen to music, contemplate nature, read, meditate, nap, do whatever you enjoy that helps you feel calm.

3. Recreation and play:  Get some exercise! Find ways to be playful and develop a sense of humor Turn your exercise routine into playtime – find an activity you enjoy!

Control your Anger - Control your Stress!

There are actually healthy and unhealthy ways to control anger in your everyday dealings, whether with coworkers, family, friends or the grocery store clerk! Chronic, poorly managed anger may add to your stress levels by increasing the cortisol in your system, which in turn contributes to more inflammation and poorer health.

What are some unhealthy and healthy responses when you get angry? 
Check out these lists and tips.

Unhealthy Anger Responses

• You deny your feelings.  Instead, you lash out and blame others.
• You are defensive and argue with those who try to help.
• You are disrespectful of the other person (name calling, insulting the person instead of the situation).
• You have physiological sensations – increased heart rate, pounding heart, your face heats up, etc.
• You  act aggressive, hit or strike or throw things.
• You give up and see yourself as a helpless victim.
• Your anger becomes addictive – you easily anger at many different situations and circumstances.

Healthier Responses to Anger

• You admit your denial - You work at expressing your thoughts and feelings (using “I” not “You”) without denial and blame.
• You try to understand the other person’s viewpoint
• You have an attitude of respect even when you feel angry
• You do something constructive and find ways to keep your anger under control
• You are open to learning new things
• You examine your own behavior.
• Your commitment to others grows stronger
• You eventually let go of the anger and feel fine

Sometimes controlling your anger takes real effort and practice

Here are 5 tips for controlling your anger:

• Talk slowly
• Wait - “Take 10” - count to 10, 20 or 30, take deep breaths and think before your react.
• Take a walk; go for a run; workout, instead of reacting poorly to a situation.
• Find humor in the situation.
• Respond with assertiveness; respond don’t reac.

Work on your Assertiveness

When you communicate in an assertive manner, your assertiveness is actually incompatible with unhealthy anger (and the accompanying anxiety).

           

Tips on Assertiveness; use when communicating your anger!

• Use steady eye-to-eye contact but not staring or glaring.
• Stand or sit tall with good postur.
• Maintain a firm steady tone without yelling or drop in tone.
• Use “I” statements – I feel, I need, I would appreciate.
• Use short sentences.
• Use pauses for feedback.

Related articles

• Study Highlights How Moms' Depression, Anger Stresses Kids (nlm.nih.gov)

Exercise Like a Kid and Feel Better!

Have you thought about what some of the psychological and emotional  benefits of regular exercise might be?  Research has shown that for men, women, children, youth, mid-life and the elderly, one of the greatest benefits is an overall improved sense of well-being.  Specific studies on the effects of exercise on clinical depression have shown that for some, exercise can alleviate symptoms of mild to moderate depression.  A sense of self-efficacy and confidence is another benefit for the far majority of people who keep up an exercise regimen.

What is it then, that keeps people from making the time to get regular exercise? 

If you ask most sedentary people why they don't exercise, one of the things they may tell you is that regular exercise is too hard and they really don't like it!   If you fit in this category, consider re-thinking your attitude.  First of all, replace your idea of exercise with activity and play!

Do you remember what it was like to play when you were a kid?  Be a kid again!  Learn to play! What activities did you do before you became more sedentary?  Dancing, playing on a sports team, biking, walking, hiking, swimming and gardening - to name just a few - are all healthy activities and when integrated into your lifestyle, are a significant improvement over being sedentary.  Remember that as few as 30 minutes a day of moderate activity can not only help you become physically healthier but also  psychologically healthier, too.

Taking the Heat!

Survival in the desert is a constant challenge for the variety of animals and plants that live there; to flourish in the desert requires the organism to withstand drought, extreme heat, and seasonal floods.  In the desert, for several months of the year, the temperatures may be exceedingly hot, exceeding what is called the range of thermoneutrality in which the animal can survive.   This heat, combined with the scarcity of life-sustaining water, makes for an extremely tenuous survival.  And yet, through adaptation to their environment, and the ability to avoid excess heat, flora and fauna are able to survive – and even flourish in this harsh environment.

What is your range of psychological thermoneutrality?  What are some of the environmental conditions (i.e., relationships, community, school, finances, commute) in your life and experience that have been the most difficult to overcome? When things heat up, do you struggle and fail - or adapt, cope and flourish? What adaptations have you made in the past to your circumstances that have helped you to not only survive but to flourish? Take some time and consider a stressful time, event or circumstance you have experienced that has challenged you.  What did you do to cope?  What did you learn? Would you do things differently now?  Contemplate your successful “adaptations” and remember them when your environment heats up.

Stress and Coping to Feel Better

Did you know that stress is the most common cause of ill health in our society? Some statistics suggest that up to 70% of all visits to your family doctor may be stress induced. 

The causes of stress are quite complex but typically they can be grouped in two ways:  external stress and internal stress.

External stressors may include loved ones getting sick or dying, losing your job or dealing with difficult people at work.

Most stress though, is generated internally! Since we create the majority of our emotional upheavals and upsets, we cause most of our own stress! The good news is that you can do something about it.

Having a sense of control over your interpretation and emotional response to any given situation, gives you a sense of choice and power that you can do something about the stressor.

And what is of key importance for you to know is that there is one very important concept regarding stress: To take control of the stress you are experiencing, you must decide to make some changes. You have to figure out what you are doing that is contributing to your problem and change it.

Here are some change strategies to help you to take control of your stress: 

Change stressful situations.
Do better at managing your time and your money. Get help if you need it.  Work on being assertive.  Find ways to solve your problem instead of stewing about it.  Consider leaving the job, responsibility or relationship.

Change your thinking.
Work at reframing your negative thinking into more positive thoughts.  Practice refuting negative thoughts that try to invade your sense of well-being.

Get Some Aerobic Exercise
As a way of draining off stress energy, nothing beats aerobic exercise.

Learn how to do relaxation exercises and/or meditate
Practice putting your body into a state of deep relaxation. Dr. Herbert Benson of Harvard University has named this "the relaxation response."

Get a consistent good night’s sleep
Reduce your stress by getting a good night’s sleep. Studies show that a good night’s sleep helps with memory, weight loss and reduction of stress.

Weight loss strategies that work!

Review these helpful strategies and ask for help when you need it!

Find Good Role Models:  Did you know that a person will more likely follow suggestions and adhere to necessary weight loss lifestyle changes if the health care provider they work with is knowledgeable and also follows a healthy lifestyle?  Healthcare providers who are physically active, eat healthy and can discuss their own emotional eating triggers, develop better rapport with their patients as well as provide inspiration and support.

Teamwork: If you have been unable to achieve an ideal body weight after 5 or more years of effort, you might have more success working with a team trained to help you.  The team most likely will include your mental health professional (psychologist, therapist), a nutritionist, a physical trainer and your physician.  You most likely will gain added benefit from the variety of support you get from each of these professionals.

Psychology:  Did you know that many patients' severe weight problems arise from emotional problems, attitudes, or beliefs that truly need to be addressed in psychotherapy? You may continue to struggle with both losing the weight and keeping it off, if the psychological and emotional problems and issues are not resolved.

Readiness: Understanding your readiness to lose weight is the first step!  Are you contemplating losing the weight or have you begun to take action? Have you had success, but are now having trouble maintaining the weight loss?  Once you get professional help in identifying your own readiness level, you must also address the behavioral and emotional readiness factors.  These may include the costs and benefits of keeping the weight versus the costs and benefits of losing those pounds.