Holiday Joy!

One of the major causes of stress for most people is a sense of uncertainty. Uncertainty can be rather exciting at the onset and most people actually begin a relationship or set about making new plans with this sense of excitement and possibility.   However, after a short while, for many, the uncertainty about a close relationship, finances and our future can lead to worry and anxiety.   Eventually, this feeling of anxiety may become chronic and can lead to clinical depression, anxiety, anger responses and over-sensitivity.

For many, the Holiday season brings on a heightened sense of uncertainty, especially around relationships. This is a normal response and can lead to worry, anxiety or feeling especially sensitive to others comments and actions.

This Holiday Season, acknowledge your uncertainty and accept that it might lead to some feelings of anxiety.  Instead of allowing the worry to overtake you and rob you of feeling any of the joy and pleasure of the season, do something about it!   Find ways to stay in the moment.  And do not set your expectations so high that no one can fulfill them! Instead, identify ways that you can enjoy the season without setting up high expectations of others.  Find even small ways to feel good.  Give an anonymous gift. Write a note to someone you have neglected.  Find a sense of humor! Volunteer.  And let go of your worry and anxiety by de-stressing – get exercise, take time for your own peace of mind.  And remember – as much as you are able - surround yourself with others who are positive.

Your Guide to finding Happiness during the Holidays and Beyond

Are you hoping to experience and feel at least some level of happiness during the holidays?   You are certainly not alone in this pursuit! Many people look to the holidays to help them to feel better, more hopeful and happy.  And one of the reasons the post holiday blues take hold for some, is that the happiness is fleeting.  The word happiness in actually an abstract concept. If you asked three different people to define happiness, you would no doubt end up with three different definitions.  Seligman and colleagues have invested years of research on the concept of happiness.  They suggest  that a better way to view ‘happiness’ is to examine three distinct routes to happiness:  1) positive emotion and pleasure, 2) engagement and 3) meaning.  Their research suggests that people differ in how and what they pursue in life and that satisfied and happier people are those who orient their life pursuits based on all three of these routes, but hold engagement and meaning as more important that positive emotion/pleasure.

It is important to also know that studies on happiness show that people pursuing happiness benefit more than from just feeling good.  Research shows that happy people are healthier, more successful, and more socially engaged, and the cause and effect of happiness actually runs both ways! For example, if you are happy, this will have a positive effect on your social relationships; those relationships in turn give you more happiness.

How can this help you then, as you consider ways to find your own (not so fleeting)  happiness?
Review the list below and try out the exercises.  Be sure to commit to doing at least one of the exercises for at least one week. Commit to trying them all out over the next few weeks. Continue with the ones that resonate most.


Gratitude Visit: Take one week to write and then deliver a letter of gratitude in person to someone who has been especially kind to you and whom you have never properly thanked.

Three good things in life: For one week - write down three things that go well each day; describe a causal explanation for each thing every night for one week.


You at your best:  Write about a time when you were at your best and then
reflect on your personal strengths displayed in the story. Review the story once every day for a
week to reflect on the strengths you have identified.


Identify and Use your signature strengths in a new way:
Take the inventory of character strengths (Brief strengths) online at www.authentichappiness.org and receive individualized feedback about your top five (“signature”)
strengths (Peterson et al., 2005a). Use one of these top strengths in a new and
different way every day for at least one week.

Finally – remember this. For most people, happiness does not just happen! It is a purposeful way of reflecting and doing your life, finding ways to create your own world of meaningfulness, gratitude and positive emotion.
To learn more, visit the website:
http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu