Don't give up!

     Are you the type of person who allows failure and rejection to shape your attitude and cause you to then give up or limit your goals accordingly? If so, join the club! Most of us struggle with moving ahead after facing disappointment or failure to reach a goal.  Remember this though, you cannot get ahead with any goals you set – whether they are personal and health related or career and professional related without taking an element of risk.  What is the difference then between those who fail and give up and those who are successful?  First and foremost, accept that failure is sometimes inevitable; have faith in yourself that you can achieve your goal and if you fail view the failure as another stepping stone to your success! 

     Think about your own life experiences and take some time to contemplate and reflect on your vulnerability to rejection and failure.  Make a list of the times you failed in achieving a personal goal.  Make another list of the times you failed in achieving a professional goal.  And make a final list of times you faced rejection. Are there common themes?  Do you know why you failed? Did you reflect on the experience and learn from it or did you turn away from your goal out of fear of more rejection?  Use your reflections to build a foundation for your next steps to reach your goal.  Know that getting ahead, reaching a goal and experiencing success can be fraught with failure and rejection and in spite of the difficulty, believe in yourself, your purpose, your goals and your eventual success in reaching them. As Gail Sheehy remarked: “To be tested is good. The challenged life may be the best therapist!” 

Tips for Making a Change for the Better!

If you are contemplating making a change for the better, perhaps losing weight, improving your eating habits, getting help for anxiety or depression, or resolving issues in a relationship, you are at a stage of awareness.   But what you need to really move forward and begin doing rather than thinking about change is a level of emotional arousal and emotional energy. Use emotional energy to garner the momentum you need to make the change.  We know from research that knowing facts about a problem or dilemma is not enough to create behavior change. So stir things up a bit.  Here are some suggestions:

Create your own promotional materials.  Film yourself YouTube style and monitor your progress with a succession of videos.  Or paint or draw or create posters that are unique to your goals, post them at home and work and ramp up your emotional energy.

Start a group or join a group. There is a reason why joining and participating with a group of people with similar goals is a successful endeavor for many.  Participation can be emotionally energizing via the support you get from others in the group.

Use meditation, visualization and imagination. Take time out each day be in the moment, to reflect, visualize your goal and imagine how you will feel.   The emotional release you may experience may help you to move forward with the needed momentum so that you will be successful in reaching your goal.

Related articles

• Mindfulness-based Anger Management Online via Skype (psychologytoday.com)

How self-efficacy can help!

When challenged with dealing with chronic illness or trying to adhere to a weight loss program, a wellness program or a diabetes management regimen, researchers have found that people who have a sense of “self-efficacy” may be more successful in adhering to their plan.
Even if other psychosocial supports - such as family or support group, are not all favorable, a strong sense of self-efficacy can offset these difficulties.

The concept of self-efficacy was proposed by Bandura (1977) and was developed within the framework of what is called “social learning theory.” The self-efficacy model defines self-efficacy as the individual’s perception of his or her ability to carry out a given behavior or group of behaviors.  This sense of self efficacy has an effect on the person’s emotions (feelings), cognitions (thoughts), and motivation in difficult or threatening situations such as facing life-long self management of illness or health maintenance.   In other words, if a person faced with the demands of self-management gains a sense of self-efficacy, then mood, and  thoughts and his/her motivation may be enhanced and in turn, contribute to success in self-care of one’s health.

Three Things You Can Do Today to Feel Better

1. Think Positive:  Make an effort to change your negative self talk into positive self talk.  For many people, this takes practice, especially if your thinking ‘style’ tends toward the negative.

2. Rest and relax:  Take a break—make a point to relax for 30 minutes each day.  If you’re not sure how to relax, try different things.  Listen to music, contemplate nature, read, meditate, nap, do whatever you enjoy that helps you feel calm.

3. Recreation and play:  Get some exercise! Find ways to be playful and develop a sense of humor Turn your exercise routine into playtime – find an activity you enjoy!

Control your Anger - Control your Stress!

There are actually healthy and unhealthy ways to control anger in your everyday dealings, whether with coworkers, family, friends or the grocery store clerk! Chronic, poorly managed anger may add to your stress levels by increasing the cortisol in your system, which in turn contributes to more inflammation and poorer health.

What are some unhealthy and healthy responses when you get angry? 
Check out these lists and tips.

Unhealthy Anger Responses

• You deny your feelings.  Instead, you lash out and blame others.
• You are defensive and argue with those who try to help.
• You are disrespectful of the other person (name calling, insulting the person instead of the situation).
• You have physiological sensations – increased heart rate, pounding heart, your face heats up, etc.
• You  act aggressive, hit or strike or throw things.
• You give up and see yourself as a helpless victim.
• Your anger becomes addictive – you easily anger at many different situations and circumstances.

Healthier Responses to Anger

• You admit your denial - You work at expressing your thoughts and feelings (using “I” not “You”) without denial and blame.
• You try to understand the other person’s viewpoint
• You have an attitude of respect even when you feel angry
• You do something constructive and find ways to keep your anger under control
• You are open to learning new things
• You examine your own behavior.
• Your commitment to others grows stronger
• You eventually let go of the anger and feel fine

Sometimes controlling your anger takes real effort and practice

Here are 5 tips for controlling your anger:

• Talk slowly
• Wait - “Take 10” - count to 10, 20 or 30, take deep breaths and think before your react.
• Take a walk; go for a run; workout, instead of reacting poorly to a situation.
• Find humor in the situation.
• Respond with assertiveness; respond don’t reac.

Work on your Assertiveness

When you communicate in an assertive manner, your assertiveness is actually incompatible with unhealthy anger (and the accompanying anxiety).

           

Tips on Assertiveness; use when communicating your anger!

• Use steady eye-to-eye contact but not staring or glaring.
• Stand or sit tall with good postur.
• Maintain a firm steady tone without yelling or drop in tone.
• Use “I” statements – I feel, I need, I would appreciate.
• Use short sentences.
• Use pauses for feedback.

Related articles

• Study Highlights How Moms' Depression, Anger Stresses Kids (nlm.nih.gov)

LOSE a Little and GAIN a Lot!

Did you know that if you are overweight and lose only 5%  - 10% of your weight, you are on your way to better health?  Here are highlights from some of the studies on the benefits of modest weight loss. 

• Numerous studies show that weight loss, even if only 5-10%, significantly improves lipoproteins, hypertension, diabetes and insulin resistance, risk for osteoarthritis and it's symptoms, risk for selected cancers, and other risk factors for chronic diseases.

• The Finnish study which was the first published randomized clinical trial of diabetes prevention through lifestyle changes suggests that sustained modest weight losses of 5% of bodyweight can reduce the risk of developing a chronic disease.

• Recent studies also have demonstrated that weight cycling is associated with increased health risks. Sustained weight loss, even 5% is a far better health outcome than weight loss and then regaining of the weight.

• Several studies suggest that intentional weight loss is associated with decreased mortality. One study of 43,457 women found that any amount of intentional weight loss resulted in health benefits. In this study, women who intentionally lost weight had a 40-50% decrease in deaths from obesity-related cancers and a 30-40% decrease in death from type 2 diabetes. Another study of 49,337 men reported a 32-36% decline in death from diabetes among men with health problems who intentionally lost weight.

This blog content was adapted from the online article:  Lifestyle Management of Adult Obesity  Health Benefits of Intentional Weight Loss; http://www.vhct.org/case2500/benefits.htm; University of Missouri Columbia School of Health Professions

Exercise Like a Kid and Feel Better!

Have you thought about what some of the psychological and emotional  benefits of regular exercise might be?  Research has shown that for men, women, children, youth, mid-life and the elderly, one of the greatest benefits is an overall improved sense of well-being.  Specific studies on the effects of exercise on clinical depression have shown that for some, exercise can alleviate symptoms of mild to moderate depression.  A sense of self-efficacy and confidence is another benefit for the far majority of people who keep up an exercise regimen.

What is it then, that keeps people from making the time to get regular exercise? 

If you ask most sedentary people why they don't exercise, one of the things they may tell you is that regular exercise is too hard and they really don't like it!   If you fit in this category, consider re-thinking your attitude.  First of all, replace your idea of exercise with activity and play!

Do you remember what it was like to play when you were a kid?  Be a kid again!  Learn to play! What activities did you do before you became more sedentary?  Dancing, playing on a sports team, biking, walking, hiking, swimming and gardening - to name just a few - are all healthy activities and when integrated into your lifestyle, are a significant improvement over being sedentary.  Remember that as few as 30 minutes a day of moderate activity can not only help you become physically healthier but also  psychologically healthier, too.

Keeping FIT is NOT always EASY: Part 3 Are YOU a Social Eater?

Keeping fit is not always EASY!  Do you think you may be a "social eater?"  Why do you eat what you eat and when you eat it? Is eating a social experience for you? Do you find that when you are with a group of your friends, you lose track of what you have eaten and continue to fill up your plate although you are already satiated? That’s a very common experience for some.  In fact, researchers (Nicholas A. Christakis, M.D., Ph.D., M.P.H., and James H. Fowler, Ph.D) have found that overweight and obese people were more likely to have a circle of friends who were also overweight and obese (and therefore probably social eaters also). And we also know that many people are more likely to be successful in reaching weight loss goals if they participate in a group with shared weight loss goals (for example, “the Biggest Loser” on television, Weight Watchers Program, etc.).  So if social eating is your downfall, don’t despair.  Instead, find a group who share similar weight loss goals and you  will more likely be successful in losing the desired weight.

Taking the Heat!

Survival in the desert is a constant challenge for the variety of animals and plants that live there; to flourish in the desert requires the organism to withstand drought, extreme heat, and seasonal floods.  In the desert, for several months of the year, the temperatures may be exceedingly hot, exceeding what is called the range of thermoneutrality in which the animal can survive.   This heat, combined with the scarcity of life-sustaining water, makes for an extremely tenuous survival.  And yet, through adaptation to their environment, and the ability to avoid excess heat, flora and fauna are able to survive – and even flourish in this harsh environment.

What is your range of psychological thermoneutrality?  What are some of the environmental conditions (i.e., relationships, community, school, finances, commute) in your life and experience that have been the most difficult to overcome? When things heat up, do you struggle and fail - or adapt, cope and flourish? What adaptations have you made in the past to your circumstances that have helped you to not only survive but to flourish? Take some time and consider a stressful time, event or circumstance you have experienced that has challenged you.  What did you do to cope?  What did you learn? Would you do things differently now?  Contemplate your successful “adaptations” and remember them when your environment heats up.

Keeping FIT is NOT always EASY! (Part 2)

Keeping fit and healthy–is NOT always EASY!  If you set out to make some positive changes to your health, it’s likely you will find your intent is stronger than your willpower. If you’re stuck – try this.   Instead of feeling discouraged and giving up completely, one of the things you CAN do is keep a journal or diary or notes – whatever you want to call it - of your food intake each day.  What would this look like?  You could create your own template or download an APP. 

Your notes or diary should include when you eat.  Keep track of every time you eat something, even if it’s a nibble.  Don’t be shy about listing everything. No one else will see your notes. Note the exact time. 

Keep track of everything you eat.  Write down even the 1/3rd cookie you nibbled on before breakfast.  Write down the 3 peanut butter chocolate candies you ate from the office lobby and the 2 glasses of wine before dinner.

Keep track of how much you eat. If it’s a small serving – describe it in your notes. If it’s two servings, describe.  Include calorie totals next to each food.  Use a calorie tracker for this. You can find trackers easily online.  Round up to the highest total; we know that the far majority of people underestimate serving size and caloric intake.  

Get in the habit of doing this everyday, every week.   Did you know that for some people, having a concrete idea of what, when and how much they eat actually helps them cut down on their overall caloric intake?  You will begin to see patterns in your eating that you may not have truly known before.  Try it – you may find the effort worth it.  

Are you a Type A?

Having a "Type A personality" is marked in popular literature and media by a person who is an overachiever and fills his or her schedule to the maximum with work and status related activities and commitments.  Popular notions of Type A personality are based on published scientific research undertaken by cardiologists, Meyer Friedman and RH Rosenman, while researching the possible causes of coronary disease. http://www.sfms.org/AM/Template.cfm?Section=Home&SECTION=Article_Archives&CONTENTID=1732&TEMPLATE=/CM/HTMLDisplay.cfm

In the 1950’s, Friedman and Rosenman studied over 3,000 healthy men aged 35 – 59 and observed a higher prevalence of clinical Coronary Heart Disease (CHD) in men who exhibited two specific traits: time urgency and free floating hostility.  They labeled this disorder Type A behavior pattern. Subsequent studies challenged the hostility factor; ongoing research continues to help us understand the relationship between Type A Behavior and Coronary Heart Disease in both men and women.  In 1981, The National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute published a critical review that identified Type A Behavior as an independent risk factor for CHD.

Current research is helping to identify issues and difficulties in measuring Type A traits in the individual. Researchers have concluded that time urgency and hostility measures, usually completed by the patient through a self report questionnaire are not as reliable as the clinician's observation and evaluation of the person’s psychomotor traits. Recognizing these psychomotor traits in an individual takes specific training over the course of several months to years.

Some of the signs and symptoms that may indicate hostility or time urgency and a Type A Behavior pattern include: chronic facial tension, tic like elevation of the eyebrows, tense posture and abrupt, jerky movements, rapid speech, hastening the speech of others, frequent loss of temper (i.e., yells or gets upset while driving), sleeplessness because of anger or frustration, disbelief in altruism, easily provoked irritability over trivial errors, facial hostility, and a hostile laugh.

Health psychologists treat individuals who exhibit these characteristics and through lifestyle change interventions, including behavior modification, cognitive – behavioral interventions, stress management and mindfulness training, and talk therapy, help the person with Type A Behavior patterns to modify his or her unhealthy patterns of time urgency and unresolved hostility. Research has already established that the degree of lifestyle change is positively correlated with positive changes in coronary atherosclerosis and other CHD predictors.  If you want to read more detailed and clinical literature on these studies, the Preventive Medicine Research Institute is an excellent resource:  http://www.pmri.org/research.html.  If you recognize yourself or a loved one as possibly fitting the description for Type A Behavior patterns, learn more and ask for help. Become heart healthy and feel better.

Humor Can be the Best Medicine!

Humor can be the best medicine!  If you are hoping to become more fit and healthy, then remember to laugh! The study of psychoneuroimmunology has resulted in the scientific understanding that there really is a relationship between the mind and the body.  Stress and the accompanying emotions, including anger, fear, guilt, worry, depression and loneliness can have a damaging influence on the physical body. From high blood pressure to abdominal weight and fat accumulation to lowered immune responses and inflammation, stress and ‘negative’ emotions take a toll on our bodies.  In turn, experiences, events and attitudes that support emotions such as hope, love, joy, silliness, play, good humor, absurdity and other feelings we associate with humor can have a positive effect by not only giving us a sense of well being but lowering our physiological inflammatory response and enhancing endorphin levels.   So laugh. And laugh out loud if you can!  If laughing is not your style, then chuckle!  Find something humorous that gives you a laugh and make a point to be silly and lighthearted at least once each day. Take better care of your health!

Related articles

• Techniques to Cope With Stress and RA (webmd.com)

Keeping FIT is NOT always EASY!

Who are the people who are most effective at getting fit and healthy, and staying that way over time?   And who are the ones who no matter how hard they seem to try, continue to struggle with getting or keeping healthy?  Researchers continue to investigate these very questions and have come up with some key points about achieving and maintaining health and well-being.  Here are some pointers on getting and keeping fit and healthy.

Keeping fit and healthy– including daily and weekly exercise and eating a nutritious diet is NOT always EASY!  We know that in our busy world of work, commuting, family responsibilities, social events and the stress that accompanies all of this, maintaining a healthy lifestyle can be a huge challenge.  Have you ever commented on an acquaintance that seems to always manage to keep fit, look great and maintain a positive attitude - that he or she “doesn’t have to work very hard" at looking and feeling great?  Think again!  Chances are, if you interviewed that person, you would find out that a considerable commitment has been made to keeping healthy.  You would also find out that such a commitment comes with a price – be it time away from social events to work out or refusing delicious but incredibly unhealthy restaurant meals when out with friends or colleagues.

Keep a diary. Include what, when and where you eat and what, when and how you exercise.  Keep track of your stress levels and stressors during those times. Researchers know that when you keep track, you become more aware of your stress points, your habits, your emotionally vulnerable times as well as your caloric intake and time in exercise.  How does this help? Once you know your stress patterns, eating patterns and exercise patterns, you can establish a BASELINE and then develop your short and long term goals, based on your history and stress patterns.

Keep it fun.  We also know that if you do not ENJOY your workout, or consider at least a portion of your exercise regimen to be FUN, you won’t maintain your routine.  If you have friends who are runners and they love running, they will tell you that running is a rewarding and fun experience. In turn, if you run and positively hate it, the thought of it,  and dread going on a run, you are not likely to maintain your exercise regimen. In fact, you are probably adding more stress to your life by doing something you don’t like!  If you’re not sure what might work for you, try out different activities and give yourself a few weeks to decide.  Join yoga or Pilate’s group. You may enjoy dancing, hiking, playing tennis, taking long walks, or swimming.  Whatever  it is that brings enjoyment, do it and forget about routines or activities that cause you stress. Don’t forget variety in your workouts – include two or more activities into your routine - such as weight lifting and swimming to optimize your health.

Keep it a priority.  Whatever it takes to keep your health regimen a priority, do it! Schedule workout times into your Outlook calendar.  Make your food diary easily accessible; download an App if that makes it more do-able. Find ways to stay consistent and realize that you will have to sacrifice at times in order to maintain.  Soon you will realize what researchers know - keeping fit to counter stress – both psychologically and physiologically will help you to cope and feel good more often. Keeping fit to maintain your health, your sense of well being and your physical appearance will be the best reward of all.

Related articles

• Techniques to Cope With Stress and RA (webmd.com)
• 10 Sites with Free Workout Routines and Videos (johnisfit.com)
• Get in the Right Mindset to Exercise Regularly (everydayhealth.com)

Take a Risk! Jumpstart your goals for 2011!

     Are you one of many people who allow failure and rejection to shape your attitude and you then give up or limit your goals accordingly?  Establishing a goal is in essence, taking a risk, therefore setting yourself up for possible failure!  You cannot get ahead with any goals you set – whether they are personal and health related or career and professional related without taking an element of risk.  What is the difference then between those who continually fail and then finally give up and those who are successful?  You must accept that failure is sometimes inevitable; you must have faith in yourself  that you can achieve your goal and you must view the failure as another stepping stone to your success. 

     Think about your own life experiences and take some time to contemplate and reflect on your vulnerability to rejection and failure.  Make a list of the times you failed in achieving a personal goal.  Make another list of the times you failed in achieving a professional goal.  And make a final list of times you faced rejection. Are there common themes?  Do you know why you failed? Did you reflect on the experience or feedback and learn from it or did you turn away from your goal out of fear of more rejection?  Use your reflections to build a foundation for your next steps to reach your goal.  Know that getting ahead, reaching a goal and experiencing success can be fraught with failure and rejection and in spite of the difficulty, you must believe in yourself, your purpose, your goals and your eventual success in reaching them. As Gail Sheehy remarked:   “To be tested is good. The challenged life may be the best therapist!” 

Making Changes for the Better: 5 Tips!

When you consider your health in the New Year, what changes do you want to make for the better?  Below are five broad areas for you to consider. When wanting to set goals and make changes, most people spend a great deal of psychological and emotional energy at the pre-contemplation and contemplation stage. They know they want to move ahead, but they struggle with identifying and creating a plan.  The first step in overcoming this barrier is to IDENTIFY what it is you want to change.  For many, a great place to start is with the Number One area listed below. You can then find success in achieving goals summarized in the items Two through Five. Even though it might sound simplistic, once you move ahead and begin with discovery and identification of your current status, you have accomplished a big step in becoming healthier and happier in 2011.

1. Obtain Baselines and learn about my health status.
This involves moving past denial and includes learning all you can about your physical health. It involves a visit to your primary care or other physician to establish medical measures and baselines on your health status and includes weight, BMI, blood pressure and cholesterol levels, and other tests determined by your physician.  This should also include identifying your family risk factors, identifying your social support needs, identifying your psychological challenges, identifying the stressors in your life and your coping challenges and style.

2. Achieve Improved Medical Measures and Outcomes. 
Once you know your health status and baselines, including BMI, weight, cholesterol, blood pressure readings, etc., you can now move toward establishing goals for improvement where needed.  This may include lowering your cholesterol, lowering your blood pressure, reducing your risk of stroke or cardiac illness, reducing familial risk factors.

3. Improve Levels of Exercise and Fitness
If you are like most people, your intention is to make exercise and fitness a priority, but the busyness of your life gets in the way.  Identify your exercise routines and activities, including how many days, minutes and type of exercise you are currently completing.   Keep an exercise and activity diary for 2-4 weeks. One you have a numerical count of what you actually do during the week, you can then decide on areas of improvement. This might include any or one of the following:  getting more exercise, getting regular exercise, doing aerobic activities, joining a yoga class, achieving a good fitness level,  increasing strength, increasing endurance, increasing flexibility, increasing energy levels.

4. Make Better Eating and Nutrition Choices
This might include eating smaller portions, eating out less frequently, eating less fast food, learning more about nutrition, eating more freshly prepared foods and meals. This also includes beginning with establishing your current eating lifestyle. Keep a food diary and include what you eat, when you eat, where you eat. Include when you feel hungry and what you are doing.   Once you have done this discovery process, you will be able to establish clearer and more doable goals in this area.

5. Improve Your Quality of Life
This might include learning new cognitive and behavioral strategies for coping with stress, taking small and healthy risks, reaching out to others, practicing authenticity, and using meditation and prayer to release your worries and achieve a sense of well-being.

Refresher Course for the New Year!

The New Year is a time for renewal: letting go of the past, reworking goals, looking ahead, and making changes for the better.   Most of what we determine to change or improve or even put behind us are not new goals, but a resurrecting of our old, unsuccessful or less than successful ones!  If this observation resonates with you, know that you are certainly not alone! This is the typical experience for most people. What is truly amazing is that we continue to return to our failures and difficulties, revisit them and determine to conquer them once and for all. 

Hooray for the human experience, in continuing to strive toward improvement!    Assess your own experience and look back at the times you have made a concerted effort and taken a certain level of risk to conquer a fear, release a sad memory, heal from the loss in a relationship or lose the 10 pounds after much determined effort.  Were you fully successful, never again needing to revisit your goals?   If you are like most people, even after experiencing the thrill of success or the peace of resolution, the residual remains and sometimes  returns with a true vengeance.  When this happens, we are frequently surprised and conflicted about how we could have felt so fully successful – and at peace - if only a few months ago!

Begin today to acknowledge that the goals, dreams and hopes you own are more a work in progress than a one time mark of success.  Allow your failures to support you and be willing to learn.  Reflect on your aspirations and work in small ways to reach your larger goal. If fear and history of failure haunt you, acknowledge your fears.

Begin today to:

Work toward one small part of a larger goal – you will feel more encouraged to continue on
toward your larger goal.

Acknowledge your past and integrate your knowing into the present.

Confront your fears and get help and support from others if you need.

Take even small risks such as speaking up in class or volunteering for an organization – or learning a new skill - as this can energize you.

Find creative ways to laugh and have fun.  Work on your sense of humor if you are not a natural!

Happy 2011!