Control your Anger - Control your Stress!

There are actually healthy and unhealthy ways to control anger in your everyday dealings, whether with coworkers, family, friends or the grocery store clerk! Chronic, poorly managed anger may add to your stress levels by increasing the cortisol in your system, which in turn contributes to more inflammation and poorer health.

What are some unhealthy and healthy responses when you get angry? 
Check out these lists and tips.

Unhealthy Anger Responses

• You deny your feelings.  Instead, you lash out and blame others.
• You are defensive and argue with those who try to help.
• You are disrespectful of the other person (name calling, insulting the person instead of the situation).
• You have physiological sensations – increased heart rate, pounding heart, your face heats up, etc.
• You  act aggressive, hit or strike or throw things.
• You give up and see yourself as a helpless victim.
• Your anger becomes addictive – you easily anger at many different situations and circumstances.

Healthier Responses to Anger

• You admit your denial - You work at expressing your thoughts and feelings (using “I” not “You”) without denial and blame.
• You try to understand the other person’s viewpoint
• You have an attitude of respect even when you feel angry
• You do something constructive and find ways to keep your anger under control
• You are open to learning new things
• You examine your own behavior.
• Your commitment to others grows stronger
• You eventually let go of the anger and feel fine

Sometimes controlling your anger takes real effort and practice

Here are 5 tips for controlling your anger:

• Talk slowly
• Wait - “Take 10” - count to 10, 20 or 30, take deep breaths and think before your react.
• Take a walk; go for a run; workout, instead of reacting poorly to a situation.
• Find humor in the situation.
• Respond with assertiveness; respond don’t reac.

Work on your Assertiveness

When you communicate in an assertive manner, your assertiveness is actually incompatible with unhealthy anger (and the accompanying anxiety).

           

Tips on Assertiveness; use when communicating your anger!

• Use steady eye-to-eye contact but not staring or glaring.
• Stand or sit tall with good postur.
• Maintain a firm steady tone without yelling or drop in tone.
• Use “I” statements – I feel, I need, I would appreciate.
• Use short sentences.
• Use pauses for feedback.

Related articles

• Study Highlights How Moms' Depression, Anger Stresses Kids (nlm.nih.gov)