Are you in Denial?

                                 

Whether your are newly diagnosed with diabetes or another serious illness,  or you have been told by your doctor that you have high cholesterol and high blood pressure and your well-being is at risk,  when you were first confronted with the diagnoses, you may have responded with feelings of anger.  And actually, feeling angry is a normal response to hearing and learning of a serious diagnosis.  However, ongoing anger is not a healthy response to this new stressor and may keep you from a healthy acceptance of the diagnosis.   The chronic anger may add to your stress levels and keep you from healthy behaviors and self-management.  Finding ways to control your anger is important, then. Begin, by realizing that there are normal and healthy anger responses and there are also unhealthy anger responses.

What is a common and unhealthy anger response and the alternate healthier way of managing your anger?  One of the most common anger responses to having been diagnosed with a serious disease such as diabetes is one of denial.  The denial may be over the actual diagnosis of the disease or the long term and potentially life long aspects of the disease.  One of the unhealthy ways to express the denial is through blame – blaming others, including family members, blaming scientific progress for not finding a cure, blaming the environment, for making your life more difficult.   You may end up lashing out at those who are there to help you the most, including your family and friends.  What is a healthier denial response then?  How can you work through the denial in a way that de-escalates your stress levels,  keeps your anger managed in a healthy manner and includes your loved ones in a supportive role?

First and foremost, admit your denial. Admit to your loved ones and your health care providers and ask for help.  You can rest assured that your feelings are not unique. Denial is one of the biggest hurdles to overcome.  The next step in working through the denial, once you admit to yourself and others, is to work at expressing your thoughts and feelings without denial and blame.  Practice this often and try it out on others.  Eliminate blaming others from your vocabulary.  Work at owning your diagnosis by verbalizing your diagnosis and letting others know of your progress.  You may be surprised to find that by re-framing your language into thoughts and phrases that are free of denial and blame, you will emotionally and psychologically reach a point of healthier anger management and healthy acceptance of your diagnosis.